I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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