come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
