it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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