it's too hot outside to masturbate.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
