Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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