i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
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he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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