guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
im holly from the hills drunk
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
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