idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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