I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
