I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
