it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
