I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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