tell your sister to shave her snatch
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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