just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
