I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
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