just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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