Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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