I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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