I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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