He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Randomize
