So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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