I'm drive I can fine osifer
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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