Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
