It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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