I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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