My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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