I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize