It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
