Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
