I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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