I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
sarcasm needs its own font
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
My legs feel like baby dolphins
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Sorry about my life...
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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