Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
