Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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