Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
