I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
