I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
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Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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