dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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