I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
