you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize