party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
My vagina is very pro this idea
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
