I feel like I'm in dance class right now
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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