Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
