you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
