so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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