You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
wrigley field is MILF paradise
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
