Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
