I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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