I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize