Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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