Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
