She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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