We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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