too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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