Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
