We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
