Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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