dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
