Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Randomize
