sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
